Big Confession

Here it is... the awful secret that might get me kicked out of the blogosphere and drummed out of the male gender, especially at this time of national obsession with the "S" word. No, not that "S" word. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned against all that is manly. I do not like sports! Any sports. All sports are utterly incomprehensible at best, irritating at worst. I try to watch baseball, football, hockey, etc. etc. I do not understand what those people are doing or why they are doing it. I cannot figure out why the players on the field, court or whatever you call the place where they do it are doing it. I am totally mystified at the hundreds of thousands of screaming fans in the stands or whatever you call the place where they sit except when they are standing and shouting. I would surely have a nervous breakdown if forced to attend a big time sporting event. Is it God's fault? Did He leave some of my parts out of me when He made me?
Maybe He did, because I can't understand the appeal of game shows, their spastic contestants, their studio audiences or their millions of TV fans, either. What do you think, Father ... is there a chance that reincarnation might be true, so I can be complete next time around? One more question, Father. I heard that "Hail Mary" has something to do with football. Don't try to explain that to me. I wouldn't get it. Couldn't handle it if I did. What's that? You want to get this confession over with because there's a game you don't want to miss?