How Impersonal Can it Get?

Here is one of the few reasons I wish I were a lot younger: I would have no memory of the pre-digital, personal service era when we dealt with real people, not buttons on a touch-tone phone. How far can this depersonalization go? I think we are there. After endless punching of buttons to get to the desired department and finally holding on for the operator, a recorded voice told me that if I wanted to talk to the operator I should leave my name and number and he or she (more likely an "it") would call me back. We must now make an appointement to talk to an operator.
But wait! There's more. Do not try to pay your utility bill in person. Drop it in the box that's there for your great convenience or mail or pay online. It will cost you two bucks to hand it to a real live person. Mighty Comcast has joined this evil plot to do away with real people. It will cost me two bucks to pay my bill in person there, too. Yea, verily. We have reached the epitome of impersonalization.

President of Starkist

Is the big boss at Starkist the TUNA KAHUNA?

Fruit of the Loom song

I am so so old that when those ladies come on in their bras and panties I just close my eyes and freak out over that song. Sounds like the same people who did the Country Time Lemonade song a few years ago. Those diminished chords have a strange and wonderful effect. Country Time offered recordings of the song and I sent for one. I still play it

Most Creative Lawyer?

If I get so frustrated and confused by road construction and repair that I have an accident and/or drive into a big hole and/or have a nervous breakdown, can I sue the city or the state or whoever is in charge of the motoring mayhem? I'll bet I could find a lawyer who would take the case. I have one in mind. I just saw his TV commercial. He is soliciting business from people charged with drunk driving. He has taken the phrase, "Friends don't let friends drive drunk" and twisted it to, "Friends don't let friends plead guilty." He will get your license restored and put you back on the road so you can do it again.

HOLY HOT DOGS, BATMAN!

I have been eating Hebrew National Kosher Hot Dogs. They are as good as the TV commercials say they are. That's because Hebrew National answers to a higher power.