George's Hair

My only interest in George Carlin was his pony tail, which I envied. How did he do that? He was balder than I am but he had enough hair back there for a fine tail. Why can't I do that. If I say stuff that shocks people will my hair grow?
My favorite routine, that nobody mentions, is the one about the difference between baseball and football. That's funny.

Radio Days

I just watched Woody Allen's Radio Days again. Every fan of old time radio and 20th century pop culture oughta see it. Great memories of how important radio was back in those long gone days. Those too young to have been there won't believe it, but it was really like that. Radio was probably a more vital part of American life than TV is today because it had less competition from other media. Woody's parody of some of the great radio stars was right on. Especially the "Bill Kern" sport story.Wildly funny, clearly a grand jab at Bill Stern and his over-the-top tales.

Rethinking Oprah

Scott is right ... good reviews can be bought. I would find much to admire about Oprah if she gave me a car.

Crude Critique

I like Joan Rivers. She doesn't take herself seriously. She's just a good old broad who likes to get laughs. Don't like Oprah. Takes herself seriously. On a mission to make the world better. Don't like Ellen. Dances too much and has funny eyes.

Pageant Time

It's that time of year when the young babes enter their local scholarhip pageant, hoping to one day become Miss America. I would love it if one of the women would throw out her carefully prepared speech about her agenda for saving the world and say something like, "What the hell do you think I'm here for? I want to win the damn contest and get a scholarship and all the goodies that go with it. Isn't that what we're all here for?" She would get my vote.

Virtually Literal??

Literal is one of the good words that's gone bad lately. I heard a commercial that says a furniture store is literally blowing the doors down with their door buster sale. I'm not going near that place. Who wants to get clobbered by flying door parts. And there's the car commercial that says you can now literally take a test drive on your computer. Huh? What? If I crash, will I literally die? Will my insurance literally cover it?

Green Tea, Brown Presidents

Mr. Obama is a shoe-in. He's got Oprah. The most powerful woman in America says she did a happy dance when he clinched it. I don't want to see her happy dance. Ellen Degeneres does quite enough dancing for me, thank you. Imagine those two happy dancing together. Dr. Phil would proably join them. Whatever it takes to get ratings. That might make me throw a heavy object at the TV. Oprah plugs a book, it sells a million. Now she's endorsed green tea. Where can I buy some green tea stock? I wonder if Obama drinks green tea.

Great Commercial Lines

From a commercial for the Electricians Union: You should hire a union electrician because he knows his amps from a hole in the ground. That's funny.