I have a plan. My personal plastic surgeon has agreed to build me two big, handsome ears just like Clark Gable and Jimmy Roberts. My personal psychic and medium, Madame Mystica, says she can put me touch with Peggy Lee, who has been singing with the angels on "the other side" for quite a few years now. Madame asssure me that all things are possible if you only believe, and I believe that Peggy will fall in love with my ears and spend the rest of her heavenly life and my earthly life purring her arrangement of "Mr. Wonderful" into my big, handsome amorous ears. First one, then the other. Or maybe both at the same time. Do they have stereo in heaven?
I considered putting Miss Lee's recording of that song here for all to hear. But it is too powerful. It might cause massive yearning and burning among men and dangerous jealousy in their women. And I don't want other guys hooking up and tuning in. She sings that song to only one man at a time and he knows it. Namely, me. That is not one of her hit recordings. It is seldom mentioned. I know she did it just for me.
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